"Deep down I know this never works but you could lay with me so it doesn’t hurt. Oh won’t you stay with me? Cause you’re all I need. This ain’t love, it’s clear to see but darling, stay with me."
and, well, fuck. people like you aren’t easy to have an chance encounter with. and you sat right in front of me, kicking your long legs under my desk every so often. if soulmates exist, i swear there is no one that comes closer to being mine than you. we’re eighteen and we’re young and in love and that can be subject to change but my god, everything you do with me is surreal, as if i’m in a dream watching myself do all these things that i never would have done by myself, that twelve-year-old me never would have believe she would do in six years. try out for a play in theatre? wake up at four in the morning to hike? open up to new, interesting people and ignore the innate shyness? you’ve pushed me to be a better person, really. I know when we were sixteen i was emotionally unstable and you were emotionally immature and we weren’t right for each other then and i still remember every single word of your break up text but we fit as perfectly as two inexperienced people can right now, like the beginnings of blocks that will mold to curve around each other on one side and shape differently on the other side. we’re eighteen and is there any other time we feel as old just as we do young? we’re growing up and you’re going to university in seattle and i’m going to university in new york city and we’re clinging to our youth, we’re imagining lands in which we exist as different beings in histories that occurred in a different plane than earth’s. and there is nothing more i want than to curl up in your arms and trace the outline of your heart shaped lips. i won’t forget you. i can’t. i’ve curved around you. i’m your rock, you said. you can’t imagine living without me, and i know it isn’t true but it’s nice to be needed in that way and still be secure in knowing that the other person will be fine even if the living without me occurs. it’s nice to feel as if i will be ok, too. not right away. i’m not saying it won’t hurt, i’m saying, well, ok i don’t know what i’m saying because i haven’t thought about that part yet but it will happen and it won’t destroy either of us. i’m not saying out love wasn’t an intense fire, because it is, but we will be ok. it’s two in the morning and i love you, i’m so comfortable with you, every time i see your sleepy face and fluffy hair i want to go beyond all the limits of feeling with you, surpass the boundaries of the highest emotion with you. i swear if i meet all the people in the world, you’d still be the one. you are the one. i love you, you make me so happy. you are my bliss.